Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
