I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Come on in and take your pants off
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