I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize