I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
