i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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