billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
