Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
