do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
