fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
