roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
