I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
