that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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