if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
