Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
