We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
