I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You ate ashes out of my bong
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
