just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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