Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
