this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
