My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
