I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
