Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
What drink are we having for lunch?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
