you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
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