Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
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