Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
