then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
