I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
