The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
