glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
where am i from again
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
