I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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