I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
