Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
