I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
