I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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