I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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