so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
