margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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