Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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