is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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