I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
