I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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