I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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