Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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