Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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