i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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