He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
