whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
