Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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