just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
