You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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