I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
