Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You smell like stripper and shame
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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