After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
