he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
