Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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