i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
