screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
