I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
