I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
